Following Every Footstep
by Cosmic Dragora
Summary: Manga-verse. Snippets of Integra's life and Alucard's existence.
1. Twelve

**A/N:** I need to get this plot bunny out of my head. Ever since the Hellsing manga was released in the US I've been a fan. I only rediscovered my love for it recently. Though I've seen the original and ova anime, this story is primarily influenced by the manga. The first of many segments, I give you Chapter 1: Twelve.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Hellsing, or anything affiliated with it

/

**Following Every Footstep**

Cosmic Dragora

/

**Chapter One: Twelve**

She was 12 years old. Hardly the age to be watching her father take his last breath. Hardly the age to be taking on the head role of an organization. Hardly the age to be running for her life. Hardly the age to come into control of a vampire so ancient, so powerful, that all other creatures of the night trembled in fear.

But here she was, Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, barely 12 years old, and head of the Hellsing Organization. She had never anticipated this day to happen so suddenly, but who could say they had. Walter, of course, was the most surprised when he returned home to find Sir Hellsing dead, but Alucard very much alive. Or as alive as a vampire could possibly be. "Ah, Alucard." He adjusted his monocle, as he often did when he wanted a clear look at something, "I trust you had a pleasant sleep?"

"The best I'd had in ages." The vampire replied in his low, frightening way. She was not used to it. It was all so sudden. She had gone from child to Master in the blink of an eye, and God knew she wasn't ready for all of this.

She knew she had to be, as did everyone else.

It had only been a day, and that one day had been treacherously long. "What shall I do with these foul corpses, Master?" Her second order to her new servant was that of disposal.

"Eliminate them. I don't want to see these treacherous fools buried beneath Hellsing's proud soil." She had thought of her father, and how his plot had hardly been filled a few days prior.

The vampire chuckled, revealing his gleaming white teeth, sharp as a needle, "As you wish, my master. It's been many years. Too many." He eyed the unmoving men hungrily, "A snack might do. It might do well, indeed." And thus, Integra sat unmoved as her newfound servant devoured each and every corpse—clothing, guns, and all—in a manner most unpleasant. There was hardly a drop of blood left when he was through. Full enough, but hardly satisfied. He returned and bowed low, requesting to help with her arm, to which she obliged. The bullet had passed through, grazed the bone, but blood ran free and coated her side. Had she not remembered her father's words, "Vampire teeth are the anti-coagulant, Vampire saliva is the coagulant," perhaps watching him lower his open mouth to her wound would have been more frightening than it already was. She shivered involuntarily as he snaked his tongue over the broken flesh, vowing to never get used to such an unsettling feeling.

And there they were. She was clean, and he was awake. "Alucard." She repeated his name, to test it and find familiarity.

"Yes, my master?" She was young, unsure. So childish in her school uniform, so naïve in the way she held herself in the midst of a vampire. Yet she was the daughter of Sir Arthur Hellsing. Her blood smelled fresh and pure. Full of promise and pride. It was a delectable thing, and such a blessing to be his first meal in 20 years. So sweet and smooth, untainted and fresh.

"There are others. Find them and take care of them."

"Yes, my master." He dissolved into the shadows, leaving behind nothing but a Cheshire cat grin and an unpleasant cackle that resonated off the cold dungeon walls. She had barely made her way out of the place before he appeared before her, and that is where he stayed until Walter returned.

/

She wasn't sure if she liked him. He was arrogant and hurtful. He took great pleasure in pointing out her flaws, "The truth is what hurts the most, doesn't it, Master?" He would grin his haughty grin, and she would command him to be silent.

"I am your master, am I not? Obey me, and be quiet!" She would shout at him, numerous times.

"Shouting is so unladylike." He would say, then speak no more. He was right, of course. She was hardly in the position to be flying off her handle like that. Not anymore. She was now head of the Hellsing Organization. She had to compose herself as such. This, he would tell her. Not outright, but in his sarcastic, demeaning manner.

He saw her potential, yes, but also saw her faults. Someone who wore their heart on their sleeve would not do. Someone with a carefree laugh and a smile on their face would not do. Someone lacking confidence and drive would not do. The bridge between childhood and adulthood would be a short one for Integra, this he knew. In the end it would suit her better. It would suit everyone better. It would suit him the best.

"Don't you think you're being harsh on her, Alucard?" Walter said one day as he prepared her afternoon tea, "She is but a child, you know?" The vampire paused and contemplated his answer. There was a strong young woman beneath that veil of youth. She merely needed to shed it.

"Perhaps, Walter." His red eyes traveled up and met the Englishman's, "Though we both know that a child has no place amongst adults."

Walter understood what the vampire meant. She would be tested and tried as an adult, as dictated since her father's death. It was at that moment that Walter fully saw Alucard's intentions. "I still do not enjoy the way you go about teaching her." Walter told him, "It is unnecessary."

"Being kind is unnecessary."

"Well, if that is how you truly feel." The butler grinned as he picked up the tray laden with scones and tea, "I shall not forgive you if you upset Miss Integra, as I'm sure you understand." The vampire smirked,

"Indeed I do."

Integra's studies continued at a private school, as home schooling was no longer an option. "Your education is necessary, Miss Integra." Walter responded to her disproval. "It is not right that a girl of your age waste her mind away." She didn't like it. Ever since she could remember she had been home schooled. Taught by her father all she needed to know about the supernatural and running an organization. She knew how to communicate with people—a skill often lacking in those home schooled—but merely in a businesslike manner. As Walter had told her, she did not understand how to interact with those her own age—much less her own gender. Under her breath she muttered that she would never need to do that in any situation in her life. Only the vampire heard.

With all of these sudden life-changing happenings, it was only natural that she would break down. But, no, the girl willed herself to hold her head high. To continue as if nothing bothered her. The vampire knew better.

"How was school today, Master?" he asked as he materialized next to her desk littered with schoolwork and textbooks.

"Dreadful." She replied curtly and continued her mathematics. As was his habit, he hovered over her until she became self-conscious and asked him what he found so fascinating about her homework.

"Nothing, Master." With this he trailed off, and left her in silence. For a moment she felt a sudden loneliness and wished he'd stayed. Perhaps if he'd pried a little more to get her to talk—but no matter. The moment passed, and her "dreadful" day at school was pushed aside and forgotten.

/

It was shortly after Walter returned when he began requesting blood. "I am thirsty." He said. She called for her butler and they devised a plan. Medical blood.

"It will keep him out of trouble." Walter assured her. Alucard remained silent on the matter, but was obviously quite happy to satisfy his bloodlust after so long.

"Vampires are such strange creatures." Integra remarked as she watched him drink his fill. The vampire laughed, and in the chilling dungeon halls, it was quite an unnerving sight.

She vowed to never trust the vampire. Never like him. Never give him an ounce of mercy. After all, vampires were trash. That is what her father had taught her. Alucard was nothing to her. Nothing but a servant. It wasn't long before paranoia set in. She felt he was always watching her. Staring with those bloodshot eyes, and fanged grin. She'd never known such fear since her uncle shot her she watched his dried corpse animate itself. Late at night she would stare at the ceiling, and imagine the moving shadows were him. Waiting for her to sleep so that he might feast on her neck.

She became cranky. She questioned everything Alucard did. She made him stay in plain view more often than she did originally, forcing him to sit in her eyesight when she was working. He did everything without question, and only his wry smile.

Walter was the first to comment. "You aren't sleeping well, my lady?"

"I'm sleeping just fine."

"Have the latest events finally caught up to you?"

"Perhaps."

"I'll brew a special tea. Never fear, you'll feel better in no time." She did not want to sleep. Not with the vampire around. Moving through the estate on his own free will. She called him forth after Walter had retired for the night.

"Yes, Master?" The dim light shone off of his red glasses

"My sleeping quarters are off limits." She stated.

"They were not before?" He cocked his head childishly

"They always were." She glowered, "But I'm making sure you know for certain." Alucard studied the girl, and realizing just then how exhausted she looked, smirked and asked her,

"Do you worry that I stalk you at night?" Her eyes narrowed and she seemed to shrink away from him, "You are my Master. I have no intentions of harming you. You know this."

"My father taught me never to trust the likes of you."

"He was a smart man."

"Yes. He was." There was a moment of silence in which she sipped her tea cautiously, and Alucard merely watched, without grin or remark.

"I have never hidden in the shadows around you. Not yet." He started, "I understand you cannot sense when I'm around. Not yet." She looked at him warily, but he did not smile, "I am not the sort of vampire that you think I am."

"Oh?"

"Indeed." Here he did grin, "I am much worse." He melted into the floor, with a resolute "Good night" that could be heard from all corners of the room.

She did not sleep well for many weeks.

/

She really didn't like him. This vampire she controlled. He lived to embarrass her. He did as he wished when she wasn't there to stop him. She was his master. Shouldn't he behave more like a slave? He did what she asked though—if only grudgingly. Because of this, she felt safer. Stronger. He was a weapon. She was the trigger.

But his personality she could not stand. His kind. Vampires. Deceitful, sex-driven, powerful creatures that were not to be taken lightly. She noted that sunlight did not affect him, as he often appeared in the sunroom when she was reading. Garlic did not affect him either, or else why would he ever materialize in the kitchens and harass her cooks? Garlic was often used, and hung from the ceilings in the pantry. No vampire would stand being around that. But he could. A stake through the heart? She did not know. He was still so new to her.

"Why does the sun not harm you, vampire?" She inquired

"It is how your family built me." He said, then paused and added, "Though it did hurt at one time."

"Garlic?"

"The same."

"Is there any way to kill you?" The vampire chuckled at that,

"Are you planning to have your own servant murdered, Master?" Her face showed nothing, and with a shrug he replied in earnest, "I believe that I can be killed, though I shall not go down without a fight." The vampire, if he were privy to his own weaknesses, would not indulge her in them. Even when she ordered an answer, his responses seemed cryptic.

/

A vampire had been spotted in a town not far away. It was Hellsing's duty to take it out and dispel the evidence. Integra had seen this done many times in her past, and knew of the correct procedure to follow. She had never personally attended a killing, but now, as head, she would have to move to the battlegrounds and assume her position as leader of Hellsing.

She was nervous, that much was true. What if she made an error? She spoke with the captain of Hellsing's firearms unit, and they reassured her it was a routine vampire. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was then that Alucard made his appearance.

"Send me out to take care of the vampire." He said. Integra looked around for objections.

"Then what of my men?"

"If they want to go they can take out the ghouls." This won jeers from the crowd, but only a few. They were still not used to a vampire among their ranks. "You only need to send me."

"I don't think you could take on a vampire and his army of ghouls by yourself." She replied, "You should know how strong they are."

"I do."

She made her decision. She'd send him along by himself while the backup team camped by just in case something were to go wrong. "Search them out. Kill them all." Were her orders. Cleanup crew hung back, as they always did. She was to go to the police barricade, if there was one. If not, then she would stay back. Her driver knew what to do.

"It's not right for such a young girl to be out on these missions." He said.

The threat was taken care of in no time at all. Behind barricaded walls, Integra was merely scolded for being so young, "and a girl no less" until Alucard came back. "Master." He greeted her

"Alucard." She acknowledged him, causing those around her to gasp at this sudden intrusion. "Give me a report." Blood coated his teeth as he smiled, and responded,

"No survivors." He told her where the bodies lay, and cleanup crew was sent out. The police chief couldn't believe the events that had taken place that night. A young girl who commanded a vampire that killed other vampires? Preposterous.

She found that she could take no more of these surroundings, much less the bloody stench that resonated off of Alucard's jacket. She hailed her driver, and she went home, dreading her very first bout of paperwork. As she looked up at the moon, a group of bats clouded the scene. The vampire was satisfied.


	2. Fourteen

**/**

**Fourteen**

/

She was 14 years old. It had been two long years, and her change was obvious. Her bright smile was gone, almost entirely replaced by a calm, composed one. She did not grin at jokes, and no longer laughed as long and hard. Her only feminine garb was that of her school uniform. Her temper was shorter, her chats less personal. "You're so cold, Integra." The girls at school had said, "You never trust us. We tell you everything, and in return, you tell us nothing."

"Perhaps there is nothing I have to say." She had no time for the idle chatter of girls. She was knighted. She was Sir Hellsing. She had an organization to run and fencing to practice and guns to shoot.

She took to looking masculine, as she noticed that a woman among male-dominated organizations was laughable. She kept her hair long, as her father favored her with long hair, and his memory held fast to her heart. Although she did her best to hide her growing femininity, her tailored suits were powerless to biology. "A dress would suit Master better." Alucard would say—only to anger her for the fun of it, "My, you're developing nicely."

"Idiot!" She screamed, "Scum!" All manners of rage passed her lips, while the vampire's laughter vibrated off the walls until Walter walked in with tea and paper. Alucard generally took this as his leave.

"He certainly loves to give you trouble." The butler mused. Integra said nothing, "Yelling really does not suit you."

She would yell all she wanted. No one would stop her. It was not long after, that the day that girls dread became a reality for her. She had not been informed of this change, as the high percentage of men would never let it on. Her first instinct was to confront the vampire. She'd never heard of this sorcery, but what other explanation could there be?

"I demand to know what you've done to me, vampire!" She stormed his dungeon room and found him resting in his chair.

"My, my, what a pleasant surprise." Alucard grinned his toothy grin, "A visit from my Master."

"Don't play with me, you're behind this, aren't you? Is it a hallucination?" Still the vampire smiled, "A trick? What is it!"

"I'm sorry Master. I do not understand."

"I'm _bleeding_. This has to be your doing!"

"Is that right?" He could do nothing to contain his laughter. The girl felt her cheeks warm.

"What's so funny, vampire?"

"Show me where you bleed."

"Wh-no! You already know, don't you?" Her cheeks were on fire. The embarrassment was colossal. "You live to embarrass me, but I won't have it!"

"I can smell your blood. Indeed, it is strong." Alucard stretched and crossed a leg, "But I'm afraid this is not my doing. Not this time." His fangs gleamed in the poorly lit room, and she felt an urgency to leave.

She huffed, much like a child, and stormed off without a clear answer. Who else was she to ask? What if she were dying? That was it, wasn't it? That was why the vampire was laughing at her. Oh God, she didn't want to die.

She considered a will, but no. Her father gave his last intentions on his deathbed. So would she. A trip to the toilet proved that it had not stopped, and thus, her heart sank. It was the end. Depression overcame her, and she sadly, quietly, made her way to her bed. As tears started to form she wondered if dying would hurt—and then she saw it. An open book on her pillow. The page was specific to female biology. Underneath it was a recent ad for the local mega store, opened and circling a product. Curiously, she read the book, and relief washed over her. She now understood. Yet, she was not the one who did the shopping.

"Walter, I have a request for your next trip to town." She was embarrassed, yet relieved. She would not die.

"Of course, miss Integra, anything." The butler knew what would come, for the vampire has already alerted him. It was indeed Walter who took the initiative to find the right book, the right way to explain as to not put them both in an uncomfortable situation. She was a smart girl. He had faith in her deductive skills.

"I need these." She held up the ad that the butler had sought out not an hour earlier.

"Of course, Miss Integra." He had never seen her run off so fast, and he fancied he heard Alucard's throaty laugh from somewhere below in the basement.

/

It was the first time she ever shot him. She was at the shooting range after a long day of school—eager to get her frustrations out on the targets. Her mood affected her aim greatly, and one after another, each shot became worse and worse until she was barely hitting the target at all.

"Master is in a bad mood today?" Alucard inquired from somewhere behind her, though he knew full well.

"Let me be, vampire." She hissed and reloaded her weapon, "I don't need your bloody cheek." She emptied six more shots, but only four hit the mark. She knew he would say something. He always did. It only made her angrier.

"Exhale slowly." He offered, "Lock your arm."

"I _know_ that." She spat.

"Oh, my." His offending grin once more took a place within his features. He would have thought by now she would have realized herself. Her anger was too great to be a leader. Her heart too clouded by the false judgment it created. Fencing and shooting had helped, but only in stints. If his master were to fully gain his respect she would need to control herself. In time, he assured himself, it would happen.

Her glasses had smudged and she ripped them off without care to wipe them, "Bloody glasses." She muttered, "Bloody stupid eyesight."

"Master's eyes are weaker than bats." He joked.

That was the last straw. She had been so tired, so annoyed with the day's events. This vampire only sought to make it worse. Her first instinct was to aim the gun at him and pull the trigger—which is precisely what she did.

The bullets were nothing special, but the single solitary shot passed through him quite easily. At close range, it passed through and created a hole that opened the side of his face. Once she had realized what she had done, Integra recoiled. "Oh, God."

"What a clumsy shot my Master is." Alucard laughed as his matter seeped back together, "And at point blank range, too." She unleashed the full cartridge on him, each moment of laughter only fueling her anger. The gun was thrown down as it emptied and she stormed off, golden hair whipping wildly behind her.

The vampire couldn't help but chuckle. What _fire._ Shame it was poorly harnessed and therefore pointless to unleash on anything. He knew she could shoot. He'd seen her do well many times. Perhaps it had been wrong to criticize her on such a day like today, but no matter.

The holes in his clothing and skin repaired. He headed back. His master really needed to calm herself. Not every day would be a good day, and looking down at a field of enemies, charging forth with naught but the thought of bloodlust probably wouldn't be one of them.

/

He didn't know why the girl disliked him so much. He had made honest attempts to prove he wasn't such a bad vampire. She knew he was under her command, and hers alone. She knew he wouldn't harm a hair on her head. It didn't stop him from antagonizing her, but how could he help it? Integra made herself an easy target.

"How is your paperwork?" He asked one day,

"It's coming along." She spoke as the pen scratched along the paper, "Walter has showed me everything I need to know." Her voice showed no sense of pride or happiness.

"It must be dull sitting around here all day." He stalked the shadowy corners of the room. Even though sunlight didn't hurt him, he didn't have to like it.

"Perhaps."

"You don't find it dull?" Her pen idled and she looked at him. He was across the room admired a painting of battleships. Did she find it dull? Of course she did. But what was she to do? Drop all of her responsibility? No. She couldn't.

"You are a distraction, Alucard." She stated simply and the pen began moving again.

The vampire looked to his master. So small for such a large desk cluttered in paperwork, files, and phones. It was almost tragic that a person so young had to shoulder so much responsibility. He thought of his younger years to try and empathize—and immediately stopped.

His younger years were not worth remembering. In fact, they were better off forgotten. Many memories were, in fact. Some seeped through the mental dam that had been created every once in a while. Painful memories of the Ottoman Empire. No. Integra didn't have it so bad.

He disappeared from the room to who knew where, and the girl continued working until late. "He's more of a nuisance than I could have imagined." She thought to herself, "A hobby is what he needs."

He already had one. She knew. His only joy, when not killing, was to bother her.

/

It was around this time that she developed a bout of insomnia. The stress was getting worse by the day. Nothing seemed to be relaxing her mind. At night she was plagued by millions of thoughts, all cascading into one another. Eventually her brain would settle on one thought, and for what seemed like hours, ponder the same few sentences and situations over and over until she thought she would go mad.

Then daybreak.

It had to end but she didn't know what to do. The daily grind continued. The rogue vampires were slain, though they were few and far between lately. "Search them out." She would command Alucard, "Destroy them all." The only thing she could think to do with her extra time was practice her shooting.

And so, one night when she absolutely had it with tossing and turning, she put on her clothes and went outside. It was a chilly, mid-winter night. The air was crisp and clean, the snow pristine, but she took no notice and headed for the larger outdoor targets. They weren't far from the manor, but far enough as to avoid shooting anyone who might take a stroll. Her favorite gun was tucked away in the cabinet, and a silencer was put on it for good measure. She didn't need to wake anyone up at this hour.

Though someone was already awake.

"Fancy a bit of practice?" Alucard spoke and startled her quite badly.

"Dammit, Alucard. Piss off!" She hissed

"Such language." He tutted, "Shouldn't you be asleep?" She gave him no answer and merely loaded her weapon, "I see. The silent treatment?"

"You should try it. It's very effective." The vampire chuckled at that,

"My, my, the Master's humor gets better every day." She didn't laugh, nor smile, but headed outside with a purpose. The lights were turned on, aim was taken, and ten shots were fired before Alucard spoke again, "You're having trouble sleeping these nights?"

She heard him through her ear protection and gave a short nod. He frowned, "This isn't going to help you sleep at all."

"Nothing has helped thus far. Not tea, not warm milk, not exercise." She sighed in frustration and shook her head, "Nothing works."

"You are too tense." Alucard didn't even dodge when she turned her gun on him. He was beginning to get used to it, "Now, now, don't waste bullets on me. That comes out of the company's paycheck, you know."

"Quiet, vampire."

"Far too tense."

"Then what, pray tell, do you suggest I do?" She whirled around to face the target again and let off five successive shots. She was getting better. Even in her current mood she hit the target each time.

"Relax."

"No kidding."

"A warm bath, perhaps." He offered, "You used to like them, didn't you?"

"And then I found that immersing myself in the same filthy water was just too much for me." She made a sound of disgust as she said it, "I don't want to."

"My, my." He muttered, and stood in silence for a good ten minutes before his master slumped onto a snow-covered chair. She leaned back and looked to the sky, sighing before saying resolutely,

"I'll take the damn bath." Her servant grinned and looked up as well. The moon was partially covered by clouds,

"If you truly want to avoid it," He started, "then learn to relax your muscles consciously."

"Easier said than done." She muttered

"Yes."

They sat until she shivered and admitted defeat to the weather. She didn't like the cold. The gun was taken apart, replaced in the shed, and the two trekked back. "Walter wouldn't like to see you out here, Master." The vampire told her. She said nothing, as this had been, in fact, one of the longest conversations they had in a long time. It wasn't that she was particularly avoiding him; it was that she was very busy, and he didn't quite bother her as often as he had months before.

He saw her to her room, where she gave him a sullen look and a quiet "Good night" before disappearing into her room. The vampire stood for a moment before trailing off into the darkness. His master was starting to lose sight of herself. He hoped it was her age, her inability to recognize her own limits, but he was not well versed with young minds. He hadn't had one in years.


	3. Sixteen

**Sixteen**

/

She was 16 years old. More often than not, hormones dictated her actions, and no one seemed to understand her. Everyone was a stupid waste of space. How could they not understand that? She was different. Different from everyone else, and how dare anyone suggest otherwise.

But those hormones. Those blasted things that changed the way she looked at men. Those strange creatures she once had the utmost contempt for now seemed more interesting. Not enough to pursue, maybe, but enough to contemplate.

Especially one that she was around quite often.

"I hope you do not find it bold that I pose a question, Master." Alucard's words interrupted her train of thought during a rather intense bout of science homework.

"Speak, Alucard."

"Why does Master invite me to sit among her these days?" His red eyes glimmered behind dark glasses, "Has Master finally come to accept her humble servant?"

The girl glanced up. He was comfortably situated in a chair, playing with the lip of a wine bottle. It was strangely attractive. "Perhaps I have." The vampire let out a soft "Hmm" and let her continue her work.

He wasn't stupid. He understood what was going on in his master's brain. She was growing older, and she was undoubtedly harvesting feelings for that whom she saw most often. He didn't want her to feel this way, nor could he stop it. Vampires were, indeed, sexual creatures. This, Integra knew and often pointed out. He had hoped she was above falling for such a creature as he, but perhaps it was unavoidable. He cared for her, and thus resolved to keep interactions to a minimum lest she grow some confidence and do anything rash.

Without a word as to why, he dissolved into the chair cushions and seeped through the floor. His destination was the comfort of darkness, and perhaps a taste of blood. She saw him go, from the corner of her eye. She could sense when he was near or far. Her intuition had increased and her bond strengthened. She mistook this for something greater. Something akin to love.

She was a strong girl. Confident and contemplative. And, in her humble opinion, absolutely brilliant. But, when it came to love, she took a back seat. She hardly knew what to do with her newfound emotions.

"Why don't you have any interest in boys, Integra?" The girls at school asked, "There are a few that have interest in you."

"Perhaps none of them suit my tastes." Was Integra's simple answer. The answer was not well taken.

"She thinks she's so much better than everyone else." She heard someone whisper. "Damn idiot. Probably doesn't even like men." It started an entire conversation about which girl in class Integra was probably after. "It's probably you," One girl was selected, "She seems to talk to you the most."

Integra let it all slide. There was no point in getting caught up in petty arguments. They were all just jealous, right? She was knighted. She was a brilliant student. They had a right to be jealous.

Right?

/

Her feelings of desire only grew, as expected for a girl her age. Alucard humored her, but did not pursue. He had gained too much respect for her.

But the days went on, regardless of love, and new feelings. More often than not, she'd find herself in her father's library. She'd always been an avid reader, as her father taught her to love books. His library was filled with a multitude of tomes, old and new, boring and exciting. It was only a matter of time before she'd stumble upon a rather strange collection of letters and diary entries. They were tucked away in a corner of a shelf, perfectly hidden in plain sight and bound with some old twine. The very first entry was written by a Mr. Jonathon Harker about his trip to Transylvania. The name meant nothing to her.

She found the writing to be quite dry—so dry in fact, she skipped many pages, and only stopped when she happened upon a name read upside down. Dracula. Alucard. Coincidence?

So she poured through these letters, searching for the name Dracula. He was a count, owned a castle in Transylvania, and wished to move to England. The very site wasn't very far from her home, and she found it all quite surreal. This Mr. Harker was to sell this property, but became trapped and tortured by three vampire women. The brides of Dracula.

It was hard to make a connection between Alucard and this count. Alucard was so horrid—so mean. The Count seemed rather educated, gentlemanly. Though he was a vampire, that much was certain.

She skipped quite a bit, realizing Lucy was becoming a vampire long before anyone writing could figure it out. The name Van Helsing finally gave her any real context. Her ancestor, Dr. Abraham Van Helsing. She knew he had begun the organization. This much her father had told her. But here, Dracula was an enemy they sought to kill. Alucard was very much still undead.

As she thought this she saw shadows out of the corner of her eye. "Alucard." She called out.

"Master." He greeted her and materialized by her side.

"I found this packet of letters and journal entries." Everything was spread on a coffee table, and who knew how she would get them all back in order. Alucard gave them an appraising look and said nothing. "Your former title was that of Count?"

"Indeed." His red eyes glimmered, but he showed no other sign of emotion

"And you were hunted by my ancestor?"

"Two for two."

"You turned an innocent girl."

"Many times." He didn't suppress a grin

"Named Lucy." He paused at the mention, but ultimately shrugged

"I don't remember that name."

"Then what of this Mina?" He was very still, and very silent. "What happened to her?" Integra had only reached mid-way through the mass of paper, and was suddenly having trouble finding answers.

"I took her blood, and she had a taste of mine." He was staring straight ahead into nothing, "She died human." He suddenly caught her eye, "I crossed the ocean, risked my life for her." It was the first time in a long time he had talked about his past, "But my efforts were in vain."

"How could she die human?" The logic didn't seem to match

"I was defeated."

She didn't say anything, and he merely stood there. She couldn't tell that had awoken a long dormant source of heartache. Indeed, his heart would have ached more if it hadn't stopped beating 500 years ago. For Mina he risked everything. For Mina he crossed land and sea, sparing no tricks. She was long dead.

He stayed by his master as she leafed through the remaining things. "Dr. Seward is a strange man. Very uneducated. Why can't he tell that his patient is under the influence of dark magic?"

"Not all humans are educated in the ways of nosferatu, Master."

She didn't finish reading everything for a few days, and by the end felt a wave of sickness. She was in control of this much feared count from the letters. He was supposedly killed. But here he was, still undead. Suddenly, having a crush on the vampire that used to turn virgins for the fun of it didn't seem very appealing anymore. In fact, it was slightly repulsive.

"You're quite old, aren't you Alucard?"

"Over 500 years." The vampire replied simply

"Were you ever human?"

"Yes."

She could sense the regret in his short answer, and though she often pressed for information, she let the subject drop. Her servant had disappeared anyway.

/

Her initial reaction to what was written wore off quickly, and she found herself toying with the idea of kissing the vampire. It would be a simple thing, no tongue, just a quick peck and that would be it. Would his lips be cold? Perhaps there was some warmth in them still. The very idea brought color to her cheeks, and it worsened when she remembered that he was indeed a vampire, her servant. "What would father say?" She'd scold herself, but to no avail.

"Miss Integra certainly has warmed up to you, Alucard." Walter commented to the vampire who stalked the shadowy halls

"Perhaps." He didn't believe the feelings would last for long. It was always darkest before dawn.

"Though I wonder if…" The butler trailed off with a smirk and a shrug. Alucard did not press for an answer or reaction.

She called for him. He answered. "Master." She was next to her desk, wearing one of her school uniform skirts. It was very unlike her to linger long in that attire. There was color in her cheeks, she seemed uncomfortable.

"How are you today?"

"I am well." The vampire replied, "And my master?"

"Fine." There was a pause in which Integra fought for the words to say. What could she say? Should she say nothing? Alucard could feel the tension. It could be cut with a knife.

"Something worries my master?" He decidedly asked, knowing nothing good would come of this. Her heart was beating far too fast, pumping that sweet, virgin blood through every vein, every artery, every—

"Alucard, would you consider me beautiful?" It was a short question, laced with neither regret nor narcissism, but she dared not look at him for fear of rejection. He didn't quite expect the question, but found no part of him could joke at this moment.

"You are quite a thing of beauty, Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing." He smirked when she flinched at the use of her full name. He'd never done that. She almost wished he'd made a joke, "But why, pray tell, should you care about my opinion?" She was such an interesting shade of red, considering her skintone. She found she had no answer she wanted to say.

"Because," She took a breath, "Because, you see—"

"Master." He cut her off, "You know quite well what I am."

"Well, yes of course, but—"

"Then you know quite well that this cannot happen." He was no longer smiling, no longer joking. It was unlike him, and it made her quite uneasy. She knew this would happen, why had she been so stupid, so rash? What was she thinking? She mustered her courage to look him in the eye,

"I still can't deny these feelings." Her last defiant act.

He moved forward quite suddenly, forcing her against a wall. "For someone who claims to have feelings, my master sure doesn't _act_ like it." He sneered and bore his teeth

"I act as I see fit." She tried to move, but his arms forced her in place. She was trapped between this monster and a wall, with no means of escape. "Alucard, let me through at once!"

"I thought master _wanted_ to be close to me." His fangs looked quite menacing and the stench of blood clung to his breath. She did not expect this to happen. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. This isn't what happened, no, he wasn't supposed to be aggressive, she wasn't supposed to be uneasy, he was supposed to be…something else.

"Alucard, let me out." She ordered, never letting her voice falter

"Master can't even stand such close contact." She looked past him, to the wall, "She finds her servant so horrendous that she cannot even look him in the eye." She did, and regretted it. She rarely knew fear, not with Alucard by her side, but the look in his eye. It was carnal, primal, frightening. Nothing about it made her feel safe. Nothing about it made her want.

Her feelings from just moments ago were gone as quick as they came. The smell of blood was thick, "Alucard stop breathing on me." It was so claustrophobic, God, it was hot. Why wouldn't he just get away from her?

"Master doesn't understand her own feelings." Swiftly, he grabbed both arms and pinned them above her head,

"Alucard, what is the meaning—"

"Does Master feel safe _now?_ Tell me, Master, do you still feel the same? Do you still feel the same for your bloodthirsty, vile, no life king?" She struggled, of course, and yelled. He made no move until she agreed.

"I acted on impulse. It was foolish…" He left her there in her office. There was nothing else to do but let her evaluate her own feelings on her own time. She pondered her actions, regretting them immensely. But no, she could not wallow in sadness and regret. She could not wallow in _love._ This was obvious. There was no time in her life for love. It was ruining her. It was wasting her time. She did not want to dwell on such things any longer.

The next time she called for him, they did not speak of it. Life went on as it never even happened.

/

It had been a few weeks before some handwritten books found a spot on her desk. One was marked on a page entitled, "Vlad Tepes Dracul: Son of the Dragon." She didn't doubt who placed them there. She didn't doubt that what was written was true. A mad count. An evil, bloodthirsty human. The first vampire. The original no life king. His past was disturbing. His bloodlust frightening. His torture methods were those out of nightmares. Was this really the same vampire she controlled? The very vampire she so often ordered, "Search for them, destroy them." The very vampire who picked on her solely to get a rise out of her?

Nonsense.

It just didn't match. It couldn't be him. But why would he show her otherwise? Her respect grew. Once in a while she wondered if the old count, dormant within Alucard, would ever make himself known again one day.


	4. Eighteen

**Eighteen**

She was 18 years old. Stress and schoolwork came hand in hand, and didn't bother to give her a warning. She'd finally had enough of it. She could barely think anymore, not with school coming to and end, and vampires being spotted twice as much. It had to stop, or at least, lessen.

Her answer came in a small tin with the brand "Hendi Winzermans." She'd never considered smoking as an option before, though many friends did smoke. "It really helps with the stress, Integra." The girl had reached the end of her ropes and decided one little cigarette couldn't hurt.

She didn't like the taste. The smoke was terrible and made her eyes water. After that, she was certain she'd never tough another cigarette again. But that was not to be. "May I try another?" She found herself asking for another cigarette on a different day. The drag she took was soothing—not at all choking, like the first time. The taste however, still bothered her.

She didn't ask for another for quite a while, though at times found herself wanting one. One day boredom and stress had finally gotten to her, and she headed to the training grounds in search of the Hellsing soldiers. Many of them smoked, and it wasn't hard to find a bunch milling around.

She wasn't expecting the smell of honey tobacco. She'd never experienced it. "What is that you're smoking, soldier?"

"Ah, Sir Integra." They gave a salute, which she copied, "Just a cigar. Trying to get rid of the lot."

"It smells a lot better than a cigarette." She admitted

"Ayuh." The soldier nodded, "Bit more expensive though."

"You wouldn't happen to have an extra would you?" The soldier was not expecting the question. None of them were. They attempted to talk her out of it, claiming it was a bad habit. A dirty habit. Very unladylike, and it wouldn't suit her. What would her father say if he saw his daughter lighting up? She remained unconvinced. "I hardly know a person in my life who does not smoke. How would anyone expect me to not pick it up eventually?"

She found the taste of the cigar much more pleasing, but the size was a bother. "Perhaps thin ones would suit you better, Sir." And so, her first order of Hendi Winzermans was placed.

"I see we've found a new habit." The butler commented upon the delivery. "What started all of this?"

"Necessity." The butler smiled and shrugged. Who was he to comment when he himself started so young?

She enjoyed the taste, the smell, the feeling of all the stress leaving her body with every exhale. The thin cigars suited her perfectly. It was only a matter of time before the vampire spoke up. "I see master has developed an interest in smoking." He didn't sound bothered or impressed, but merely stated it as if it were the most obvious thing that could have happened.

"Yes." She breathed, smoke leaving her lungs in a steady white stream. She braced herself for the inevitable joking. He always joked. He always found a way to make her uncomfortable.

When the laughter never came, when the unrelenting sarcastic chide never happened, she thought perhaps she was in a dream. A very realistic dream with boring paperwork and an unfinished essay.

"Why do you linger, vampire?" She asked her idle servant.

"Forgive me, master." He gave a short bow, "I was merely lost in thought."

"Well don't let it happen again." She flicked some ash into the tray, "There is nothing worse than a vampire who can think."

"My master has jokes." He chuckled, giving himself to the shadows, "Adieu, Master."

Sometimes she really couldn't understand that vampire.

/

She seemed different somehow. Less angry, calmer, steady and sure. Alucard decided that perhaps she had become the master he always knew she could be.

Ah, there she was, stamping her foot like a child because she missed the mark at target practice. Well, perhaps there was still some time to go. There was all the time in the world. For the vampire, at least. He knew this, and accepted it. Accepted that perhaps some day his end would come after he atoned for his sins. But, no matter. Everything ended eventually.

"Master needs to clean her glasses." The vampire laughed. Integra glared. He was taken aback by her lack of shouting, her lack of bossing him around. These cigars were, truly, magic.

She brushed the hair out of her eyes and left him to contemplate his master's newfound patience. "Interesting." He couldn't help but mutter to himself, a smirk gracing his lips. He wondered how long this stillness would last before the inevitable bang.

/

Graduation was a big celebration for many families. The girl did not want to celebrate, nor did she accept any invitations to graduation parties. "I want to segregate myself from these people." She told Walter when he inquired as to why, "They were there for company when I needed it. They gave me some amusement, but were all around idiots. I am glad to be rid of the lot of them."

And so she graduated without any fanfare in the top percentage of her class. The vampire watched from the shadows. She had no smile as she accepted the document, nor did she smile for any pictures taken of her. She was solemn the entire rest of the day. Though he was asked not to, Walter had ordered a cake. Integra grudgingly accepted it, as it was her favorite kind. The vampire could tell she was harboring something other than her usual festering emotions. Something more.

"What is bothering my master today?"

"Go away Alucard." She absentmindedly twirled a cigar as she watched the news, "I don't need this tonight."

"I was merely noting your sudden distance from everyone." The vampire moved closer, taking a seat near her, "Could it be that my master will miss her friends?"

There was a moment in which she might have snapped her cigar in two. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until she went to speak, "I will never miss those _ingrates_."

"My, my." He breathed, "What did they ever do to you, my master?"

She didn't speak. She refused to play the vampire's game. She knew him too well. He'd extract an answer, somehow, but this time she wouldn't give in. She wouldn't answer.

He considered her for a moment, wondering If perhaps making her crawl out of her protective shell would be counter productive, when she spoke, "Why do you even pretend to care?" he felt something close to shock. Of course he cared, she was his master. It was his sworn duty to protect and watch over and _care_ for her.

"I am not pretending." the vampire spoke, "I merely find it difficult to believe that a woman as smart as you could still harbor the childish notions you displayed when you were a teenager."

The girl shrugged, never taking her eyes from the television. "I still am."

The vampire's haughty grin faltered, "Does my master mean to tell me that after all those years with her friends, she won't miss any of them?"

The girl said nothing.

"My master won't be lonely with no girls her age to confide in?"

Silence.

"Perhaps resentment that everyone around her is going to university to continue a normal life and master is stuck in an old dusty mansion with a bunch of men and a vampire?"

Her fingers quivered, but still she stayed silent

"Perhaps regret...?"

"Enough, Alucard." she spoke quietly but firmly, never once alluding to the storm that brewed inside her. "My future was decided a long time ago. Everything that happened in the past few years...it was all a minor detour." she twirled the cigar a little, "They will forget me. I will forget them. I will do my duty to protect England and her majesty the Queen from the likes of the undead." her voice quivered once as she finished, but the vampire made no move to bring that fact to light. Her fidgeting, her mannerisms spoke volumes more than her words ever could.

He pitied her briefly, knowing the woman before him was anything but a common girl. Someone who could have done anything with her life, and instead chose the noble path. The dutiful path. Pity became respect. He would let her cloud the minds of others with her false pretenses of calmness, normality. Her inner battles would stay as such. He knew that she had the power, the authority, to battle them and win.

He knew this, but...

"If master ever needs to talk," here he couldn't help but smirk. Being kind was not something he thought himself as being, "her faithful servant will always lend an ear."

Her eyes rolled and she sighed heavily, "Thank you Alucard, now will you _please_ leave me alone?"

"As you wish, master." his cackle vibrated off the walls as he disappeared. She was left with only the television and her depressed, conflicting thoughts. 

/

She found that loneliness didn't suit her as much as she had once thought. At school she often found the gossip boring and unpalatable. But now she only had the short conversation with Walter, or perhaps a word or two with another employee. Alucard was giving her quite a lot of space, which was odd for him. She had enjoyed the silence. Until now.

This particular day it was quite bothersome. There was no one nagging her about her long hair. No one telling her about the latest celebrity marriage. No one arguing, shouting, yelling, or otherwise causing a racket, and she found that the silence was becoming rather distracting.

"Alucard," She spoke, recognizing the telltale billowy edges of the shadows, "Why are you skulking about in my office?"

"You seem restless, Master." The vampire stated as he materialized before her.

"I was unaware this gave you permission to hang around." The vampire grinned and took a seat away from the sunlight, as he often did.

"What is my master up to these days?" He inquired. She dropped her pen and removed her glasses,

"The usual, minus schoolwork." A short rub with a hankie and the smudges were clean, "As you well know." Her glasses were replaced and she gave him a cold stare, "There isn't really much to do these days."

"Perhaps…" The vampire trailed off, stroking his chin as he thought of creative alternatives.

She didn't like the tone of his voice. His ideas were often bad, mischievous. To think she once harbored love for this creature. A slight pink graced her cheeks when she recalled what he did to stop her advances. How she hated remembering.

"Perhaps you need a new helicopter."

"A…A what?" Integra faced him, unsure if he was toying with her. His cheshire cat grin never let on to what he really thought. In a way, it was his veil.

"Your helicopter is outdated. You should get a new one."

"We don't have the funds, Alucard, and we really don't need a new helicopter at the moment." She reached for an order form anyway and scanned the numerous lines she would have to fill out, "I don't think it would be worth it."

"There are other means."

"I've bothered Sir Penwood for something twice a month this year, a new helicopter would break the poor man." She paused and added quietly, "Lord knows the man is already broken." The vampire let out a throaty chuckle,

"Indeed."

She stretched and stood, "I suppose he wouldn't mind another visit." She knew full well the man might have a heart attack upon seeing the Hellsing family car, "I'll see you later then, Alucard." She didn't even notice he had already left.

Sir Penwood was, as expected, upset. "A new helicopter? Sir Integra, there is absolutely no need for such extravagant spending!"

"I require a new one, I cannot possibly run my company on dated machinery." She took a glance at her teacup, "And your tea is awful." The man might have shed a tear if the young Hellsing were not in front of him. All of his funds. All of his money. So easily spent.

"Very well, Sir Integra, but this is the absolute _last_ favor I do for you before the new year!" He was shaking as he spoke. He feared her vampire, and could never tell when he was around. The last time he tried to grow a spine, the vampire nearly snapped it.

Integra nodded, "Very well, thank you Sir Penwood." She smiled graciously and finished her tea. She didn't hear the man mutter under his breath,

"How awful can the tea be if one drinks three cups?" Her quizzical look caused him to flinch, clear his throat and ask if she would stay for dinner.

"I'd be delighted." Her smile was genuine, boredom finally gone for the time being. Sir Penwood's dinners were nothing to turn down.

When she returned, the vampire greeted her. "Master." He nodded, his wispy hair covering his eyes.

"Alucard." She inclined her head.

"You were gone for quite a while."

"I was surprised you did not join us."

"Were you?" He inquired, curious. She gave no answer, merely gave her jacket to Walter who was at the ready. He followed her silently to her office, where she searched for a cigar and a lighter. "I trust Sir Penwood followed through."

"Not without some stern talking to." The young woman spoke through teeth clenching a cigar, "I daresay he enjoys our little chats though." The vampire's teeth flashed brilliantly in the dim light.

"At any rate, I'm glad Master found a cure, though momentary, for her boredom." She said nothing, merely exhaled slowly, letting the smoke gather in front of her. She didn't need to speak. Expressing gratitude was something she rarely did, and was not about to start. He knew her, that vampire, and perhaps enjoyed coming up with creative alternatives to a rather drab lifestyle.

Though she wondered, briefly, if perhaps she should have requested a less expensive item from poor Sir Penwood.

/

"Search and Destroy them." Were her orders. She did not know the infestation was so bad. She didn't know that the vampire was not a young, soft-minded fool. She needed to be the leader of the Hellsing organization more than ever.

She stayed back, as she always did, behind police barricades and in brightly lit tents. It was hardly a half hour passed when she heard the screams. The inhuman moans and shuffling of bodies. She was armed, of course. She never had needed to shoot a ghoul, and had only once seen one up close. She was fearful for a moment. What if these men could not fend them off? What if the oncoming horde was too many and they were lost?

It was a fleeting moment. She was the proud leader of Hellsing. She would not let it happen. She had not dressed for battle, and though she would have preferred the comfort of her sword at her hip, resolutely took a spot behind the wall of sandbags and wire. "Sir Integra, it would be safer if you were to stay behind—"

"I am exactly where I should be." She spoke loud and clear. The first of the oncoming mass of bodies lurched forward, and shots were fired. "Aim for the head or heart!" Her voice rang out above the piercing shots, "Else you're wasting bullets."

With each shot, each crumpled corpse, her confidence soared. To think she ever doubted herself. Her hours of practice, the cold, hard concentration she strived for, had finally paid off.

Her heart still beat fast within her ribcage.

The thrill of battle wasn't to last long. As sudden as it began, the rouge vampire was taken out. The reanimated bodies crumpled, and moved no more. A collective sigh of relief was had. The young woman knew her servant was on his way back. Cleanup crew began its work, tents were being disassembled. It always happened so fast at the end. It was a wonder anything ever got done before Alucard.

"Master." And there he was, the ever-grinning, bright-eyed vampire. "The target has been silenced." He bowed dramatically, as if to an audience. It was one of those nights for him. Too perfect to waste, and yet here he was, wasting it on riffraff.

"You let a very large group of ghouls through, Alucard."

"Oh did I?" She didn't think he could smile wider if he tried, "How careless of me."

"Yes." Her eyes narrowed, "How careless." He made to speak, to ask if she enjoyed the thrill of battle. If she enjoyed killing undead and using her gun for its purpose. She never let him start. "Give your full report, vampire. Waste no more of my time."

His master could be so cold.


	5. Twenty

**Twenty**

/

She was 20 years old. Her cold, unyielding demeanor was enough to send a chill down anyone's spine. From her desk she ruled the Hellsing organization, keeping it in an order than hadn't been seen since before her father. She studied and calculated to make the best of the organization she had at her disposal. Nothing went unused. Nothing wasted. Every man, every gun, every source of income and training was combined and put forth the very best.

But still the vampire could sense something was amiss.

It was not the company. Hellsing was flourishing. Vampires were rampant, and they only seemed to continue multiplying. Where _had_ they all come from? He rarely pondered such questions. He was the ultimate monster. Without a second thought he would kill, and revel in it. All he needed were her orders. These days, though, the trained men fighting against the undead were far more skilled than before. He was called upon less.

He wouldn't have minded, but it could be so dreadfully boring in that basement.

"Does Master not trust her servant's skills?" Alucard asked the woman as she enjoyed her afternoon tea. Her icy stare met his fiery one.

"What do you want _now_ Alucard?" These days she sounded more irritable, but rarely lashed out as she did when she was younger.

"Blood." He replied simply. They were not low on medical blood, this Integra knew. As she sipped her tea, she wondered how he could possibly ask for more.

"You are unsatisfied," she studied her tea leaves as she spoke, "with the amount of enemies you kill?" There was a glimmer in his eye, something primal and dangerous.

"Why do you not send me out?" His voice was a low growl

"I do." She stated, "Quite often."

"No." He did not smile, he did not laugh, "No. You use these guns, these weapons." He stood, towering over the still frame of the woman, "Why not me? Am I not enough?"

"You're _more_ than enough Alucard." She was very quiet, disturbed by the vampire's strange attitude, "Which is why I do not always call upon you."

"It would save you time."

"It saves money. You're far too destructive."

"What is the use of having such a weapon if one does use it?" She looked at him, so eager to kill, teeth bared in anger. He was annoyed, bothered by these long days spent cooped up in such a place.

There was a flash of something in her features. He only barely caught it. Fear? Uncertainty? "If you wish to go," She spoke slowly, "then I shall send you."

"I only wish to go if Master wishes so." He lowered his head, awaiting her response.

She regarded him, this tall, dark, foreboding vampire standing before her. There had been far less to do in the past, of course, and he never complained. But now…now his bloodlust was unmanageable. He craved the hunt, and only wished to go on these missions to toy with his prey. It created quite a bit of destruction, and the amount of money needed to repair old, antique buildings was staggering.

"I will send you on any mission, vampire." She placed her cup down and stood, "But," here she locked gazes with him, "If you continue to waste time _playing_ with the enemy. If you continue to do this for your own amusement and not for the good of God, her Majesty, and this country. If you continue the senseless destruction of homes and property, then by my word, I will let you rot in that basement for another twenty years." It seemed like an eternity before he smirked at her answer, mock bowed and left.

How that vampire bothered her sometimes.

/

There was something different now. He could feel it in the air. He'd never felt such an urge to hurt. Terrorize. Destroy.

He was a good servant, though. He could control himself. He'd spent the past hundred years or so learning that. "The target has been silenced." It was always over too soon. Would he ever again be able to enjoy himself on the battlefield? The only way he could satisfy any part of his craving was to enjoy a meal in the most dirty, defiling way possible. It would have left quite a terrible mess if there were anything to leave. His returns were greeted with gasps and stared. Blood coated him, sometimes bits of skin and hair. His master was never pleased. She always had a look of disgust, embarrassment, and if his demonic eyes did not fail him, fear.

Fear was so unbecoming of his master. He hadn't seen that look in her eye for years. It had to go, once and for all. It did not suit the head of the Hellsing organization.

What bothered him was that it wasn't fear of the undead, death, or late bills. No, it was fear of him. Her loyal servant! He remembered spending so much time telling her that he was loyal only to her. He would do anything and everything she asked of him, she need only ask. He was always patient, always subdued. Why couldn't he have a moment or two of absolute abandon every eight years?

She must know. So why? Why the needless fear? Had it always been there, hidden under layers of anger and stress?

It would not do. It had to go.

But how would he go about getting rid of it?

/

"You're quite a bit more…_energetic_ than usual, Alucard." She spoke after much needed time with a cigar, "What has caused this?" The vampire was leaning in a corner, enjoying the shadows.

"I do not know what Master is asking." She took a long drag, exhaling slower than the vampire thought possible.

"You cannot be blind to your own actions." She spoke calmly, "You coat yourself in blood. You drink excessive amounts. You act exactly as I always expected you would when I was a child." The vampire flinched. She took great satisfaction in the small gesture, and gathered courage to continue, "Do you do this to annoy me? Do you do this to embarrass me?" The vampire smiled and tilted his head back,

"I would never do these things to annoy or embarrass my master." She waited for a proper answer, and when she didn't get one, asked,

"Then what, Alucard? What are you doing this for?" The vampire thought for a moment, considered how he would explain something so very simple and so very complicated.

"I just feel the need."

"Well stop." Was all she said and called forth Walter to bring her mail.

"As my master wishes." He was unheard as Integra greeted her butler, and unnoticed as he left.

Integra was given a short stack of things, and immediately frowned at the 'Not Bomb' stamp on the top package. Section XIII Iscariot. She knew of them, but did not understand why they would contact her.

"I wonder what they could possibly want." The butler mused, and brandished the letter opener for the woman. A quick skim and she tossed it aside. "Well?" The butler inquired.

"It was a warning. They are sending one of their associates for a seminar. We were told to keep out of it."

"Who would that be?"

"One Father Alexander Anderson."

"How much do we know of him?"

"Very little. Shall I send someone to gather information?" She reached into her desk to grab a pad of paper, the butler smiled and shrugged,

"I cannot make such a decision, as I am only a butler." She scribbled a few notes and shook her head,

"Oh, Walter, I value your opinion more than you realize." Her sigh was heavy as she dated her note and handed it to him.

"You had already made your decision." He tucked it away, she gave a solemn nod, "Then why ask?"

"Sometimes I need to know I'm doing the right thing." The butler gave her an assuring pat on the shoulder and left to deliver her note to the head of intelligence. Suddenly it was very quiet in her study. The vampire really did talk quite a bit more these days. It kept her talking. It kept her sane.

But why was he losing control all of a sudden?

/

Sometimes the feeling would go away, and the bloodlust was almost nonexistent. He would be the perfect servant during these times, and his Master was quite pleased. He could tell. Other times the feeling was overbearing, and no amount of killing, no amount of blood, could satisfy him. Something was happening in the world. He hadn't felt this way in a long time. A very long time.

She told him he needed to stop. If only she understood how difficult this itch was to ignore. How dearly he wanted to scratch. But for his Master, he would do anything. He respected her. He still longed to serve only her. She trusted him. Or did she?

There was still that minor detail. Her fear. He knew how to drive it out of her, but he would need to wait until the opportune moment. For now, he concentrated on this strange feeling. This nag. His intuition was driving him mad.

And so he confined himself in the basement. He disregarded orders to go outside. He declined the mass amounts of medical blood that had become a habit to consume. He lived as he once did. In the shadows, and in silence.

It was a while before Integra finally went down to see him herself. Walter was giving her no information. There was no information to give. "He is just sulking around in the basement." Is all he told her. This was not an adequate answer.

"Alucard." She found him lounging in his chair, daydreaming perhaps of old battles,

"Master." He smiled, "What a pleasant surprise." She found the darkness suffocating, the dim lights were hardly enough to see.

"Why do you suddenly refuse to go on missions?" Her arms were crossed, she had enough of her servant's petty games

"I am merely resting." He replied, sliding his dark glasses up to hide his eyes, "I was under the impression that I was becoming a hassle, dear Master."

"You are." She was angry. He grinned, and his fangs gleamed bright. She did not flinch, "When you're done fooling around, I expect you to report back to me."

"My, my, does Master _miss_ her humble servant?" She glared, "Else why would she seek him out in his lair?"

"You are rapidly becoming a problem, Alucard." She hissed, "I've got this organization running without so much as a single issue, and now you decide to play games." The aura in the room changed, she sensed it even as she rapidly grew louder. There was something dangerous in the air. "If you want to rot in here, then by God, rot. My father didn't need you. I don't need you." It was the moment of silence that followed her outburst that something in Alucard snapped.

"I'm the problem, Master?" He was very quiet, chuckling to himself but finding none of it funny, "You don't need me?" His laughter grew louder, "The monster who answers to only his master, who fears nothing, who is feared by all—" Here he stood quite suddenly, causing her to jerk backward, "feared by even his own master?" His grin faltered at his own words, Integra could only stare at him, horrified by his words. Horrified at the single stream of blood that slid down his face. Horrified as his expression became monstrous, terrible, and he growled in an animalistic way, "Master hasn't even seen what her servant is capable of being!"

She stared at him then, resisting the urge to run out of the room like a scared child. No. He was her servant. She was his master. He would do nothing to her. Yet the darkness was consuming her, threatening to crush her. His body was dissipating in the shadows. She did fear him at that moment. Feared he would do something stupid. Feared that she too, might do something stupid. "Then show me, Alucard."

His grin was quite horrible then, as he uttered words she'd never heard him speak, "Releasing Control Art Restriction Systems to level _one_." It was dark. Very dark. Then there were eyes. They surrounded her as they searched for something. For her. As they narrowed in on their target she felt the dark tendrils of matter slipping around her. Bugs swarmed and then parted as he came into existence. Alucard. The vampire was as she had found him eight years ago, wrapped in those leather bonds, eyes wide and teeth bare. Her heart raced, she fought against the desire to shout or run. Then it hit her. The stench of blood. The smell of a hundred rotten corpses. Her stomach lurched and her knees buckled.

Master cannot stand the sight of her servant?

The words were hardly words at all, they were pulled from the air—they were the air—she breathed them in and felt lightheaded and sick. The insects were on her skin, the eyes in her mind. Even though her eyes were closed she could see it all perfectly. She was scared.

And then his body began to melt and shape itself, and from him jumped a creature. It was a dog. It couldn't have been a dog, no, no dog could ever have so many eyes or teeth. It ran straight for her and she could barely let out a scream before darkness was all she knew.

When she opened her eyes he was sitting in his chair again and she was on her knees. "Master." He whispered

She was cold. Drenched in sweat and freezing cold. "This is the extent of your power, Alucard?" Her voice was barely audible. She did all she could to keep herself from shaking. Her first instinct was to lash out at him. Threaten him. She didn't.

"There is one more level." He murmured, "But I dare not release it. I have no reason."

"What was the point of this?" Ah, there it was. The angry edge in her voice. Surely she would hate him now. But she would understand what he was. She would understand, at least a fraction, of what he was capable of.

"To remind you that you needn't fear anything but your own decisions." He replied quietly.

"What?" She spat, "My own decisions? You bloody _monster._" The words hung in the air, bringing about a terrible silence. It was broken by his dejected laugh,

"Master fears her own servant. But as her servant has said before, he only serves his Master." She was on her feet, ready to leave, "There is no more terrible thing in this world than me." He breathed

She stopped as she felt it. Regret. So many years of regret hung in that very sentence. She found herself feeling very sorry at that moment, but no less angry or fearful.

"Since this is the case," He continued, "Master should feel only safety. Her servant would go to hell and back for her. Her servant would _make_ hell for anyone she chooses. Her servant obeys only her." She had heard him say it so many times, and yet the seed of doubt that her father planted in her mind had always stayed with her. The distrust of nosferatu. "I have shown you my true self, Master." He lifted his eyes, searching for hers, "There is nothing of me you do not know."

She knew his past. She knew his form. She knew him.

She was still breathing hard. What he had put her through was short lived, terrifying, but she got his point. She understood. She, Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, was indeed the master of a monster. A true monster. She, above all, was protected.

She didn't know what to say. There was nothing to say. She nodded in understanding, he stared back with cold, dead eyes. She had never seen him without that fire. Without that spark. She wondered if he regretted his decision.

She left him then, in the darkness of the basement. She didn't see him for a week after that.

/

She was perfect to him. She was the master he had always wanted. She could look at him now, covered in the rotting flesh of ghouls, the blood of the undead, the bone fragments of men, women, and children, and she wouldn't flinch. She could look him dead in the eye at his most ravenous times and tell him to stand down. She could command him and respect him. She was perfect. His perfect master.

For her he would go to the ends of the earth and back. He knew this. He knew this again, quite suddenly, as he watched her practice fencing. The opposing force bested her that particular match. "Master is still blind as a bat." He smirked. Oh, and how he loved the icy glares she gave him, sans yelling and screaming that used to follow.

They were enjoying the evening together in silence. He couldn't help but stare. Watch her every movement. Love the way her lips curved over the short cigar, the way the smoke pooled about her mouth. Her gloved hands, so thin, delicate, flitting over pages as she read her books. The patch of skin beneath her jaw. So smooth, perfect, untainted by the likes of anyone or anything.

God help him, he loved his master. His perfect master. He could almost remember the taste of her blood. So sweet, so untouched, that there could be no other definition of ambrosia but that. It was his life water. How he longed to have just one more taste.

"Are you still feeling these strange urges, Alucard?" She asked suddenly, breaking the heavy silence

"Master?" He inclined his head, jolted from his daydreams of sweet blood and soft skin.

"Your incessant need to battle. Do you still feel it?" She made no hint of concern. Merely asked as if it were the most obvious thing to her.

"I do." He nodded. God, her eyes. To see them, heavy lidded in the throes of ecstasy as he bit into that soft flesh. She would be his undoing!

"What has brought this about so suddenly?" He considered the question, still eyeing the unguarded section of her neck, and replied quietly,

"Something is coming." Her quizzical look prodded him to keep going, "I feel a change. I cannot explain, for I do not understand. There is something out there. Something different." She nodded, knowing he would tell her if he could. He was a good servant.

That skin, why wouldn't she cover herself? Why of all times would her collar sink so low? She was always so careful. Ever since she was sixteen.

How he hated himself at that moment. He loved his master. She felt nothing for him.

He was a vampire. A child of the night. The no life king. She was human. A strong, fearless human. He was nothing. She was everything.

He had never felt so monstrous as he watched her sitting there. He'd never felt so disgusting and terrible. He'd never thought such an emotion would ever bind his still heart after so many years.

But here it was. Oh how he hated it. How he despised it.

Love.


	6. TwentyTwo

**Twenty-Two**

/

She was 22 years old. Too young to be watching her organization crumble before her. Too young to be fighting a pointless war. Too young to watch the only family she had left disappear before her.

"Don't you dare disappear!" Her last desperate act. She silently begged, pleaded with God. Please don't disappear. Please don't go.

"No. This is goodbye….my Master Integra."

And that was it. He winked out of existence, leaving nothing but his sigil burned in the stone. All of her fury, sorrow, regret, boiled to the surface at that moment. The crazy, bloodthirsty Major would die. He would burn. He would feel what she felt.

It was pointless, she found. He would never regret. How could monsters regret? A cyborg that was convinced it was human. Truly a despicable thing. To this _thing_ she lost an eye, but as the pain threatened to rip the last shred of dignity and drive she had, she killed him. The Major was gone. Everyone was gone. Walter…she felt it. Some strange force in the world made her feel it. The one person in her company that she trusted above all. How could he? How could he do this…

It didn't matter. There would be time later. Now. Now was the time to leave this place. This place of death. Seras took her back, but there was hardly anything to go back to. Her home was destroyed, corpses littered the lawn, the halls. Blood coated everything, the blood was overbearing. It was moving. It consumed her.

She was drowning in blood.

Drowning.

/

She awoke some time later. "I found a doctor." Was what Seras told her.

"How?" Was all she could manage. She was bandaged heavily, her sight was blurry and incomplete. How she hated everything at that moment. How she hated the Major—something inhuman, something so vile, taking her eye. How she hated him for beginning this stupid war. How she hated Walter for betraying her, for making her trust him, love him, despise him. How she hated Seras for being understanding and helpful. How she hated her father for dying all those years ago and giving her this life. How she hated Alucard for leaving her.

"It's complicated." The girl shrugged, "He wasn't too well off either." Her words trailed off and died. They were in Integra's room. It was crumbling, trashed, but her bed was useable. Integra had never felt so detached from it. She sighed heavily, feeling pain ripple through her flesh,

"Then, we are it." She stated. They were the last two members of Hellsing.

"Are we finished?" Seras whispered, knowing full well the strength that Integra had.

"As long as there is blood in my veins and breath in my lungs, we are not finished." The process was to be a long one. She needed to think, to gather her resources. She needed time.

She needed rest.

"It's finally over." Seras stated as she watched the sun rise from the window. Integra moved her head, causing a considerable jolt of pain. The sun never looked so warm and inviting. It was beautiful.

"Yes. It's over."

/

The country was rebuilding slowly. Integra had been noted for her acts of bravery. Her victory. A victory for England, and a victory for the world. It was an honor. The highest honor. It was meaningless. Pointless.

Sir Penwood was dead, this she knew. His last act was one that moved her. How brave the man had been in the face of death, and how she hated herself for ever suspecting his treachery. His family continued his financial support of her organization, though with heavy losses themselves. Never had she felt so guilty when she requested something of them. They reacted much in the same way Sir Penwood had. It brought back memories.

Painful memories.

Her estate was slowly rebuilt, but her line of work was not one that could stop. She was weak from battle. Seras was not. There were no remaining vampires from the war. The fakes in Britain had all been destroyed. The United States wiped out the small battalion that had been sent their way, though suffered far less casualties. Millennium was over, but vampires still existed.

The short war caused them to come out. The stench of blood lured them into the open. Upon the weak they preyed, and Seras took them out swiftly. Integra did her duty as head of the Hellsing Organization and saw to it that each call made, each tell tale sign, each rumor and myth was looked over and dealt with. She sent out calls and wrote letters, searching for able-bodied men to take up the ranks of soldiers. She searched high and low for new staff. Anyone who was left alive, anyone who dared fight against the plague that wiped out over three million.

And so life continued. Life continued but it was strange.

Alucard was gone, and it was strange. As she sat and worked, sometimes she still expected him to melt out of the wall and pester her. Ridicule her penmanship. Perhaps ask her what was on her mind.

It did not happen. It couldn't happen. He was gone.

All that was left with him marked on stone, sat atop his coffin.

There was Seras. She had never really considered the girl. The girl who had to be around her own age, though mentally younger. When Alucard had brought her back she questioned his motives. Was he bored? Tired of forever being the servant and not the master? Did he find he needed something else to pass the time with? What sort of affection did he have for a girl he didn't know? She would hardly call what she felt jealousy, but she felt that if her servant wanted a toy, then he could have it. He was a good servant.

But now. Now she wondered if there had been some underlying motive. He had known for such a long time that something was coming. Had he planned on dying? Had he thought, perhaps, there was a chance that he would be able to say goodbye to this world?

No.

No, he was strong.

Why her? Why Seras? Why specifically a female her age?

She remembered when she graduated. She remembered the loneliness she felt of having no one her age to talk to. She remembered missing the idle chatter, the gossip. She remembered how he tried to help and how she shot him down. She remembered still feeling something was missing after all that time.

He couldn't have possibly thought of that. Finding someone his master could relate to. He wasn't that thorough.

"Master will return." Seras spoke quietly, feeling the need to end the silence

"Yes. He will." Integra had grown fond of the girl in the short time she existed within Hellsing, but could not explain why. Now she was all there was left of Hellsing before the war. The girl was her last connection with Alucard.

"He loved you." She sounded pained

"Yes."

There was a blurred line between master and servant when it came to the two vampires. Was it love they felt for each other? Affection? Father, daughter? Integra could never know. She had never considered it at length. It wasn't something she had been interested in before. But now, watching her last vampire, her friend, wring her hands and talk of her master as one she could never have, Integra had to wonder.

"It sure is quiet without the Geese, huh?" The girl let out a short laugh

"Yes. Yes it is."

Ah. Pip. The French mercenary. His blood ran through her, this Integra knew. All other blood had been refused, save the spot of hers, and this man. He was something to her. Something more. Yet she regretted not having all of her master's love. It was a relationship Integra could not conceive. Did not want to conceive.

How confusing emotions could be. How dreadfully terrible they were.

If only she could not feel. If only numbness would take her, and perhaps the void that Alucard left in her life would not be so painful.

/

She spent her days in silence. Ignoring the draculina. Ignoring everything. Paperwork had to be filled, and supplies needed to be ordered, and there was a need for a new helicopter.

But still Seras persisted. She wanted to break the walls that had been built over the years. She wanted to talk, she wanted to laugh, she wanted communication. Training troops was no longer what it used to be. And though she was joked with and admired by trainees, she did not care to talk to them. Not now.

"Master Integra." Seras approached the woman as she read by the fire. Integra whipped her head around wildly, expression crazed, then suddenly, neutral, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." The girl hung her head

"No." Integra breathed, "No, I was just caught in time for a moment." Her words lingered in the air

"He used to do that, didn't he?" The girl asked cautiously, "Melt from the shadows."

"Always." It was how she expected him to come back. One day just show up. She woke up every morning expecting him to be there, poking fun at her eyepatch. Laughing at the state of her company.

Anything.

They sat together, discussing business, as two might do when they can't find the words to say. Seras didn't give up hope, though. Her master loved his master. So she, too, loved his master. Master Integra. She did all she could to reassure her, even if it was about little things. "The troops are much better you know." The draculina smiled, showing her gleaming fangs, "And they hardly harass me anymore." She let out a nervous laugh that trailed off when Integra said nothing.

Silly girl.

"Just keep them in line, Seras." Integra said after a moment of silence, "I trust you will."

Trust was all anyone could ask for those days.

/

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews. You make me blush, you're all too kind. Thanks for reading :)


	7. ThirtyTwo

**Thirty-Two**

/

She was 32 years old. It had been ten years since the war, and Britain was faring better. There were still memorials held, and program specials about vampire attacks. Keeping these things on the down low was impossible these days.

But perhaps it worked in Hellsing's favor. TV Programs about what to do in case of vampire attacks were prominent, and garlic crops soared. Holy water was in high demand. Everyone had a stake and hammer under their bed. It was a little paranoid, of course, and vampires had evolved with the times.

But everyone knew the telltale signs of a vampire, and thus, they were easily disposed of before they could wreak havoc on unsuspecting people. This was much easier for Hellsing, who used to lay in wait for calls. The company was rebuilt. It was going strong.

By and by, vampire sightings were less. "Probably melting back into the woodwork." Integra stated to her draculina, "Once things die down, they'll be back."

"I guess so." The girl shrugged, "Or maybe there's just less of them in the world."

"Perhaps."

/

Insomnia crept back into Integra's life, and she found she could not stop it. Some nights she would read, others she would find herself at the shooting range, practicing her aim. Attempting to do things like hit the mark with her eye closed.

"Master Integra, your eye is closed, you know." The sound of Seras's voice startled her and her eye flew open, "Or you're just blind as a bat."

It was the first time Seras joked with her like that. A sudden case of déjà vu hit Integra like a ton of bricks. "You stupid girl!" the woman shouted quite suddenly, and sent a shot straight through the draculina's right arm.

"I—Master Integra!" She was startled. Integra was startled. She had never shot Seras. The vampire's matter seeped back together where a small hole had formed.

"I'm sorry Seras." She _was_ sorry, "You just caught me off guard."

"Why are you out here in the middle of the night?"

"Does it matter?"

"You should sleep."

"Would if I could, Seras."

The vampire stayed back and watched the woman unload the cartridge on the displayed targets. Her aim was a little off. Losing an eye had become a bit of a setback for the proud leader of Hellsing, but still she persisted. She would let nothing stop her. She was strong. When the woman placed her gun away, Seras followed silently. It was Integra who spoke first.

"He's not back yet."

"No." The vampire muttered, "You miss him..." The woman did miss him, she missed him more than she would ever admit. She couldn't bear to think it. To say it. She would give anything to have him there by her side at that moment.

"It's been a long time." Seras didn't know how to respond. She had reassured her many times. Her master was out there, somewhere. She knew this. She could feel it. In her very bones she could feel it. She missed him terribly, but perhaps not as terribly as Integra.

"Don't worry Master Integra." Was all she could say, "Don't worry."

Integra did not sleep for quite a while.

/

When Integra slipped up during fencing, she was certain that Seras would joke. When Integra dropped a plate and it shattered at the vampire's feet, she was certain the girl would laugh at her. When Integra slipped on the ice and landed with all the grace of a three-legged cat, she knew beyond doubt that Seras would say something.

But nothing happened. No jokes came her way. Only expressions of worry. It had been years. So many years, and yet Integra still had come off as so cold, so heartless, that even a laugh was not allowed?

"Are you afraid of me, Seras?" She finally asked, "What retribution do you fear?"

"I don't understand." The draculina responded

"You hardly joke or laugh around me. We know each other better than this." She didn't want to admit, but Integra hated how easy it was for Seras to converse with any member of Hellsing, but couldn't as much laugh in her presence.

"I just…thought it would remind you of Master." Integra was taken aback by this. Of all the stupid things she'd ever heard—

"I am reminded every day that Alucard is not here, simply by the fact that, well, he is not here." The void was so empty, "I will not shoot you again. It was something I am sorry for." Seras breathed a sigh of relief,

"Yes, well, I guess I was afraid of that again. I mean it didn't hurt, but, well, you know…"

"I don't hate you, Seras."

And so the bubbly, energetic child that never left the vampire rose to the surface, and Integra was glad for it. She needed it. She needed something in her life that distracted her, made her smile, made her roll her eyes and yell every once in a while. Damn, how that girl could get on her nerves, and how she could make everything right.

Integra was grateful for her.

Life seemed almost tolerable then.


	8. FortyTwo

**Forty-Two**

/

She was 42 years old. It had been twenty years, and days only seemed to be getting shorter. Integra often forgot the dates. Every day seemed like the same day to her. They just merged into one another in one continuous day, and nothing ever changed. She changed. Nothing around her changed.

Seras was young and excitable as ever. Integra hated her for it. She kept her beauty, her youth. Integra was losing hers.

"I could turn you into a vampire you know." Seras said one day, "I mean I have the power—"

"No." Integra was resolute in her decision. She didn't have to think about it. She already had. There would be only one set of teeth she would ever allow on her neck, and by God, she would never allow that to happen either. She would die pure and true.

It didn't matter what her heart wanted. It didn't matter at all. She would die undefiled, old and withered by time, human. It is what was expected. It was what her brain wanted. She felt as if she was getting too old for petty emotions. Love never suited her.

Living forever wouldn't suit her.

So she dismissed all of Seras's silly notions. "I do not fear death." Integra told her.

"Well, Master…" Seras shrugged, "Neither do I."

"You chose living over death."

"I did not want to die at that moment. At that moment, I feared death."

"But now you would willingly die?"

"Yes. I would welcome death."

"You remind me of someone." Integra found herself smiling, and she looked away. The vampire shook her head,

"I chose this. I'm sure one day I will regret it, but…I do not." Seras twiddled her thumbs as Integra twirled a cigar, "I'm glad I met you. I'm glad I have Master. I'm glad."

For once, Integra completely agreed.

/

The estate was very silent sometimes. Few people lived and worked there anymore. When guests were not over, it was a very chilling place indeed. "You never considered getting married?" Seras asked as the two watched the news, "You never wanted any of that?"

"No."

"But—But why?" The draculina found it strange, and yet this was Sir Integra. She was a different sort.

"It was never something I considered myself appropriate for." The weatherman called for rain. He always called for rain, "Can you honestly see me raising children?"

The thought brought a smile to the vampire's lips and she let out a laugh. Integra found herself smiling too, "But Master, it's not too late you know."

"I don't want it."

"What about Hellsing?"

"The company will die with me." She sighed, "I have thought this through." She watched the news in silence, wondering why anyone cared if a local person was suing fast food companies, when she asked the vampire, "What about you?"

"Me? Oh, well, I have thought of it—many times you know—and I just—" The girl did often lose herself in her own conversations these days. She loved talking. Talking about frivolous, silly things that didn't matter. It's as if she never grew up.

Integra hated to admit that she enjoyed her for it.

/

"You rarely smoke anymore." Seras commented after a bout of fencing. Integra was rifling through her desk at the moment and found an old box of Hendi Winzermans, "Is there a reason?"

"The reason is that I have no reason." The box was shoved back in the desk and ignored, "I smoked to relieve stress. To unwind. I am hardly under situations I deem stressful these days."

"You don't seem yourself without a cigar." The vampire quipped. The woman shrugged,

"I am who I am."

"No, I mean, you seem less manly."

"Idiot!"

The two had grown closer. Closer than Integra ever expected. There was no Master-Servant bond between them. She had never acted as her servant. The vampire was not under her full control, and yet obeyed her completely. There was trust. There was friendship.

And yet…

"He's still gone."

"You think about him often, Master Integra?" Seras felt something—pity? He had been there for a large part of Integra's life, and yet it had been twenty years. She knew he was still out there. Getting stronger. She could feel it but…

"Is he really still out there?"

"Yes. He'll be back."

"He better." She was very quiet, "Or I'll kill him."


	9. FiftyTwo

**Fifty-Two**

/

She was 52 years old. She had practically given up hope. She didn't think he would return. It had been long. Far too long. Yet here he was, hungrily drinking from her hand, desperately trying to remain in control as he had the sweetest, most fulfilling meal of his un-life.

She was old. This was obvious. The mirror did not lie to her. It reminded her that time did its work on every human, and she now had to bow down to it and accept fate. The wrinkles reminded her of Walter. Of the person she once held dear to her heart.

She would not be like him. She would not take the coward's way out. She would accept, embrace death.

It would be harder now. Harder that her Count had returned. She could see it plainly. The want in his eyes. The need for more. More of her. Had she been younger, stupider, who knew what would have become of that moment. Something regrettable.

"I am so tired." He spoke after licking her wound shut. God, how he wanted more of it. More of her rich, delectable blood. There would be more some other time. For now, sleep.

She did not want to tell him to return to his coffin at that moment. She wished he would stay. To keep her company as she rested. It was silly to her, the thought of wanting him near, and yet she wanted it. "Go rest, Alucard." The silent promise to see each other come the morning was not lost. They would pick up where they left off.

Suddenly, it was as if he'd never left.

/

He had killed three million, four hundred, twenty-four thousand, eight hundred sixty-seven lives within himself. All but one. And here he was. He was here because he wanted to be here. He was everywhere but nowhere. He was here.

He stayed by his master, reflecting upon how age suited her perfectly. "You are beautiful." He commented, she smirked,

"Coming onto old women, now?"

"Master." He grinned. She had missed that grin. The playful, teasing smile. The void had been filled. The light was back in her life. Nothing was missing. The Servant who obeyed only her. The Friend who stood by only her. "How did you lose it?"

She had spent so long crafting lies to tell young Sir Penwood that the truth did not come swiftly. The memory of losing her eye to that mechanical terror. It was a sickening thought. She much preferred her lie. Losing her eye to the knife of Sir Penwood, England's hero. If only.

"The fat Major."

"When I meet him in hell, he will regret ever existing." The vampire glowered, "No circle of hell will be more terrifying than me." It was almost childlike the way he jumped to defend her. He was late. Far too late. She could only grin and shake her head. "Walter?"

"Gone." From the corner Seras flinched. Walter was a sore subject, "Everything is over, Alucard. You are _very_ late." He was sorry. He had told her. He was sorry, a million times sorry. He hurried back as soon as he could. And here he was.

"My only wish was to be here." He bowed his head

"Better late than never." His master noted, "I am glad you're back, Count."

"As am I, Countess."

/

She was older, yes, but nonetheless beautiful to him. The wrinkles suited her. The eyepatch made her more foreboding, attractive. She was his perfect master. She never lost her grace, though acted slower. Took more time to think. She did not smoke anymore, an odd sight to him. She was herself. She was his master.

His subordinate. The police girl. Seras Victoria. The servant who loved only him, for there was no one else for her to love. She kept him company while his Master slept. He had missed her childish antics, though they lessened, it seemed, with age. She was still herself. She was still his subordinate. His draculina.

He had little desire to kil. He stayed by his Master's side during missions, allowing Seras to take the work. She did not complain. Integra did not complain. She found his company suited her perfectly. His joking made her smile. "Damn you, my crows feet are deep enough!" She was so concerned about her age. She could not see the beauty in it that he could.

She could not understand the regret he had.

Sometimes he found himself pushing his luck. He'd never attempted before. "Might Master's humble servant have a taste of her blood?" He asked nicely. He only wanted a taste. She complied. Those moments were blissful. All he could ever ask for. He needed it. He needed all he could get before…

Before.

He needed to remember. Remember her. Remember the taste. Remember.

His perfect master.

/

"You have no successor?" He inquired. He hadn't expected her to marry. She never came off at that type. No, she was independent. But the company was everything to her. Hellsing was her everything.

"No." She stated, "Hellsing will die with me." He never thought a single statement could carry so much weight.

"Then who? What?"

"Penwood. They are learning. I am teaching them. It won't be easy, but they will take over." She paused, thinking, "Then perhaps the government. The world is changing. There is no need for the likes of this." She gestured around her, "No need to worry about organizations being run by young girls by their lonesome." There was sadness in her voice.

"You had Walter. You had me."

"Walter…" Her expression turned sour. That man. She hated what he did to her. This Alucard knew.

"Perhaps," He started, "Perhaps he did not choose what happened." He chose his words carefully, "Perhaps he had been forced." It was only a theory. Even he did not know.

"Forced."

"My Master acts like a parrot sometimes." His joke fell on deaf ears. She had loved Walter. He had always been there as long as she could remember. And then he betrayed her. There was something she did not understand. Could not understand.

"It is over, Alucard." She whispered

"Yes."

/

On weekends she would fence. It was one of the few hobbies she enjoyed anymore. She took great satisfaction in besting the younger crowd during matches. "Come, Sir Penwood, let this old woman show you how to really fence!" And then she would tell the young Penwood made up tales of his grandfather, and how he was truly England's Angel. She was becoming quite the storyteller in her old age.

From the sides the vampires would often watch. Sometimes they would throw a joke, and she would throw her sword. It was all in good fun, and Integra's temper cooled fast. "Master is as spry as ever." Alucard might say. How that vampire annoyed her. She enjoyed every moment of it.

Alucard was now in her life again, but Seras had rooted herself in it as well. Together the three spent evenings together, enjoying the company. Enjoying the silence or the talking, whichever came naturally.

Seras felt uneasy. Here was her master, whom she loved very much. And here was her master's master, whom she also loved very much. What would happen when Integra finally…

What would happen to her master's long-dead heart?

What would happen to her?

Sometimes her anxieties were too much and she would think of ways to force Integra into changing. Changing so none of this would ever end. "I don't want Master Integra to die." She was bitter about it. Bitter that time could take away so much.

"I'm hardly dead yet, not even a foot in the grave." Integra growled, "My God, don't bury me yet." The girl nodded solemnly, her Master shook his head.

"Oh police girl. Always causing trouble for Master."

It was not something he wanted to think about either. It was inevitable, but still he tried to ignore it.

Death was such an uneasy subject for three who knew it so well.


	10. SixtyTwo

**Sixty-Two**

/

She was 62 years old. She did not fence often anymore. It was too much of a burden on her sore joints. The shooting range was a place she rarely visited. "I can still shoot, and that's all that matters." She convinced herself it was not a necessity. How many ghouls had she honestly come across in the past ten, twenty years? Wasting bullets was all she was doing.

The less she did, the older she felt. "Damn, I'm turning into all the old women I said I wouldn't." She chuckled to herself, hating it, but doing nothing to stop it. She slept longer, grew tired faster, grew aware of every new ache and pain that happened.

"I feel awful, Alucard." She told him one day, "How can anyone enjoy getting old?"

"You grow more beautiful every day."

"Your words are terrible." She spoke between sips of tea, "They're terrible, terrible things for an old woman."

"My Master truly is the most beautiful thing." He did not lie. He loved her. Every part of her fiber and being. The delicate grooves, the linework that spidered over her skin. He was envious that he would never have it. Never have age.

"You're terrible. You know that?" She was not angry. She was hardly angry with him, "I wish I could believe you." She added quietly.

"Sometimes my Master is still that young girl she tried to do away with." His eyes glimmered, she stared off into the fire,

"I hardly remember being that young girl." She admitted

"I remember." The vampire murmured, "It seems like only yesterday."

Time for him was different. Days seemed to go by in the blink of an eye, and he could do nothing to stop them. Weeks seemed like days, months seemed like weeks, years seemed like months, so on. He watched the world pass by him for ages. For as long as he dared remember. Now he was truly sorry he would have to watch it pass by him like this.

"Did Master ever consider…" He trailed off, knowing before he even posed the question.

"Sometimes the thought is tempting." She admitted grudgingly, "Sometimes I feel like I have so much left to do, so much left undone. There is so much I wanted to do but put aside for the sake of Hellsing." He sensed her regret, but remained still, "But I will die. You will be free."

"Free." The word was foreign on his tongue.

"Yes. Free."

Never had freedom seemed so terrible.

/

It was a bright, sunny day, but all three were outside, enjoying lunch by the shore. "We _had_ to pick the brightest day, didn't we?" Seras sighed, and hid under the protection of an umbrella, "Damn sunlight is bothersome."

"Quit whining, police girl." Alucard scolded as they sat. He held up a parasol for his Master, leaving himself very much at the mercy of the sun, "Enjoy the simple fact that it does not burn you." They were made of stronger stuff.

The woman was enjoying the scenery. Something she hadn't done in who knew how long. Had she ever spent time outside simply to enjoy it? Had she ever done this sort of thing? She could not remember. All she knew is that on a whim she wanted to leave. She wanted to put everything behind her and simply enjoy.

She'd never felt so at peace. Even with two quarrelling vampires by her side. She admired the way the sun played off the water, how waves danced about each other and crashed upon the shore. How soft the sand by the water was, and how interesting sea glass looked. Such small things. She'd never thought any of this would interest her. She never thought such trifles would make an impact on her.

Yet here she was. Enjoying things she never thought to enjoy. Couldn't remember enjoying. Why had she waited so long? It is never too late, she decided. One is never too old.

She'd never swum, and wasn't about to start, but she'd be damned if she left without sticking her feet in. First her shoes, then her socks, then Alucard realized what was happening and jerked back quite suddenly as if slapped. It was, perhaps, the equivalent of her stripping naked and running across the beach. "Master?" He inquired.

"I'm going down there." She stood, feeling her back crack in the process. How she hated age.

He was speechless. This was not his Master. It brought forth a smirk, but he said nothing. He followed her down, leaving the police girl to huddle in the shade. "Don't leave me!" She called, ignored.

He reached for her hand. She accepted it as she stepped into the waves. They could be rough, she noted, but she was strong. She was fine. Alucard was being a baby about it. "How is it?" He was feeling weak. Water was an enemy. He would not be able to stand here long. The sun, the water. Her. Damn the world. Damn it.

"Strange." She replied. "Interesting." She waded a little, careful not to go in deep and ruin her slacks. It was strange to do this. Especially now. But she was glad she did. She did not enjoy how the sand clung to her feet as they made their way back to Seras. "Well that's bloody great." She sighed, defeated

"Master." The vampire grinned, "You never cease to amuse me."

They returned every so often, even at Seras's protests. Integra found she enjoyed the air, the breeze, the water. She enjoyed the calm. She enjoyed getting away.

She enjoyed it all.

/

Young Sir Penwood now often accompanied the missions. They were far and few between it seemed, compared to days passed. When there was a call, he was also notified. When Seras went ahead to clear the vampire, and troops went forth to keep the ghouls at bay, he stood by Integra and Alucard, awaiting her return. Awaiting her report. He was given reports, as Seras was instructed to give them to only him now. She was visually upset about it. She didn't want this change, but accepted it in time. Accepted that it would have to be done. When Penwood made a mistake, Integra was always there to berate him. "Idiot! You are costing this company a fortune!" It was an irony lost to all but him and the vampires.

Slowly he learned. She taught him everything. She taught him what her father taught her all those years ago. She could still almost remember him if she thought hard enough. His lessons about nosferatu.

They were very blurry in her mind's eye. It was a long time ago. It didn't do to dwell on the memories anyway. "Upon my passing, all of my estate will be handed over to you, Sir Penwood." She told him as they enjoyed tea together, "You will inherit the headquarters, the troops, the machines, everything."

"Even the vampires?" He inquired. He was fond of Seras, who was easy to talk to, but Alucard. Alucard was different.

Integra smirked, "The girl, I am not master of. If she chooses to stay, then yes, you will gain a formidable ally. Alucard, however…" She trailed off, thinking about what she would say, "I was his master. He still calls me such. I hardly think I am his master anymore."

"Er, I'm sorry?"

"He chose to come back ten years ago. He chose to return. He could have gone anywhere, but he chose here. If he wanted to he could leave. He is not bound to me anymore. He is not bound to Hellsing anymore." She was not sad. She was not angry. She was grateful for Alucard. She was grateful that he came back to her.

"It is just as well." Sir Penwood let out a nervous laugh, "I'm not sure I could handle him anyway."

"Indeed." A deep, raspy voice vibrated off the walls, causing the poor man to jump.

"Alucard." The woman warned him, but couldn't help but find amusement in it. Alucard always did scare old Sir Penwood when he did that.

Young Penwood left, and the two were alone. "I still serve only you." The vampire found her eyes and held her gaze. Her eyes were still so blue, so radiant even after all these years. Tired, yes, but full of fire.

"I know."

But they were past the days in which servitude was necessary. No, she didn't need a servant. She needed a friend

/

Sometimes she would stumble, but he was always there to catch her. "Sometimes I forget that you are a solid being, Alucard." It dawned on him that they had barely touched, in all the years they were together. He held her up, even though she swatted at him to let go, "I can walk on my own, damn you!" Feisty as ever.

But something was odd. Was it the beating of her heart? There was something different about it.

Perhaps it was age.

He could sense something terrible. More terrible than what he felt all those years ago. He felt an end.

"Master." He pleaded, "Just a drop of blood." She would allow it, only sometimes, making a small prick with the end of her letter opener.

"I don't know why I do this." She would extend the wound and he would take to it greedily, "You need to find yourself a younger virgin."

"Old virgins suit me." He would smile. She would shake her head.

He spent so much time at her side. Perhaps too much time. "Alucard, why do you cling to me?" She did not mind, per se, but found it odd.

"There is nowhere else I would rather be."

This was the truth. Here was exactly where he wanted to be, so here he was. Seras often remarked how confusing that concept was. "It's bloody weird." She muttered, "How the hell does that even work?"

But even she sensed it. The change. More than ever she wished she could best time. Find death and beg him to leave them alone. Hadn't he tortured the family enough? It was never enough, it seemed. Never enough.

/

**A/N:** These chapters are so short, I feel like I need to upload more than one at a time! I have to say thank you to maroongrad, who leaves such nice reviews. They really make me smile. Everyone's reviews do. :) Two more chapters to go, this ends tomorrow!


	11. SeventyTwo

**Seventy-Two**

/

She was 72 years old. She was too thin, too brittle, but she kept her head high and watched Hellsing's progression. It was slowly being handed over to Penwood, and he took over with grace and dignity. Seras answered to him, and the vampire hunting continued. Integra found that she was hardly needed any longer, if only for a few questions Penwood needed answers to. She spent her days reading, lounging, longing for escape.

"We should take a walk." Alucard offered to her. She always accepted. She rarely went anywhere alone. If she wanted to go into town, Alucard accompanied her. If she wanted to go for a walk, he was by her side.

"I can take care of myself, bloody idiot." She would say, but she wouldn't mean it. Not in a harsh way. She enjoyed his company. She found it was what she needed.

Sometimes Seras would join them, and the three would enjoy the day, rain or shine. It was a slow paced life. A life Integra had grown to enjoy. "I only regret not having this years ago." She would say quite often. She repeated herself a lot, forgetting sometimes what she had stated only minutes before. The vampires noticed, but said nothing.

Walking was sometimes troubling for her. She would find herself out of breath. They walked slower. "I can't believe I have gotten so old." She would laugh dejectedly, causing her to cough violently, "Damn." She would curse, "Damn it all."

Seras, unable to contain herself, finally begged Integra to see a doctor. "Please Master Integra, please do this for me." Integra had never liked doctors, and outright refused for years. Alucard was the one to convince her that perhaps it was not such a bad idea.

"Why do you do this to me, Alucard?" She closed her eyes wearily, "Why do you pester me, so?"

The doctor visited shortly after. There was something wrong with her heart. Arteries were being blocked, some probably were. Her blood pressure was too high. She would need some pills or some surgery, too many things that she didn't care to hear. "I don't care." She said with finality, "I am not taking these pills."

"Master…" Alucard pleaded, begged his master to take the medication. Life was too short. Far too short, he realized. Here she was, making it shorter. "Master, while you won't live forever…I want every moment I can possibly have with you. Please." He had never begged. He had never let himself look so weak.

She knew this, but in her defiance, refused to see it. She refused the medicine. She refused the help.

She was so precious to him. He couldn't let it end this way. He took her prescription anyway, acquired the necessary pills, and went straight to her cook.

"Oh, God, Alucard." The kitchen staff was not used to seeing him, and he gave them quite a fright. "What a pleasant surprise." The look on the cook's face showed it was anything but pleasant.

"Put these in her food." Alucard shoved the bottles into the stunned cook's hands, "Do this. Do this or—or—" His fangs were in full view, his expression was tortured. He looked quite frightening, and the cook agreed very fast to do whatever he wanted. "Don't you dare tell her." Alucard rasped, "Come to me when there are none left." He flew through the air vents, leaving the kitchen staff very silent, and very scared.

The cook looked at the pills. "Will those work crushed into food?" One inquired.

"Doubt it, honestly." The cook replied, "Damn, I don't even know if I can mask the flavor."

"Try." Another stated, "Just try."

When Integra's meal was delivered, Alucard stood behind her anxiously, hoping the kitchen staff did as they were told. "This tastes a little strange." Integra commented, "A little bitter."

"Perhaps the cook is having an off day." The vampire offered.

"I may have to fire him." She finished her meal quietly, and went off to watch the news.

"You did it, right?" The vampire asked the cook in the privacy of the kitchens

"Yes, yes, did she eat it?"

"Yes."

"I cannot _taste_ it for myself, you know."

"I don't care." The vampire dissipated, returned to his master, leaving the cook again to wonder what was going on.

/

Alucard wouldn't let her die. Not yet. He clung to every last shred of her he had. Yes, death would happen. But no, it had to stay away. Just a little more time was all he wanted. Just a little more time.

She seemed fine on the outside. But now he understood. He heard her heart strain. He heard it work hard to keep her alive. He dared not ask for the tiniest drop of her sweet blood. He could not. Every time he wished to have some he fought himself. He didn't want to forget the taste, the smell. He didn't want to forget her. But he had to let it go. He would have no more of her blood.

He had grown selfish. He only wanted her. He wanted to keep her here and poke fun at her eyepatch and watch her fence, and accompany her on walks forever. He wanted to taste the nectar her veins had to offer. He wanted her. God, he wanted her.

But she had grown up. Grown old. Grown wise. She was everything. He was nothing.

She did not care about her wrinkles anymore. She did not care that every fiber of her being creaked and groaned with age. She accepted it. "It was bound to happen sometime." She said, "It is nothing."

He could not stop when a bloody tear rolled down his face, and she looked at him, worried, smiling, "Alucard why do you cry?"

"Master." He whispered, "You're beautiful." She reached for his hand, squeezing it with what little strength she had, "You're so beautiful."

The no life king would have given anything to have the will to turn her.

/

Her eyesight was only growing worse. "I fear I won't be able to see at this rate." She joked. Seras laughed nervously,

"Oh, Master Integra." The girl smiled. Alucard said nothing.

"How is Sir Penwood treating you?" Integra inquired. Seras was practically a part of the new organization. She was well known there, respected, but she could not call it home. She still resided in Hellsing manor, still clung to what little she had left there.

"Well." The girl replied, "He is funny, you know. A sweet family, though." She grinned, "I'm glad you chose them to continue the business, honestly."

"There was no one better." Integra stated, "No one I would have trusted more."

The cook continued administering the crushed pills and emptied capsules. Alucard kept bringing more. "Is this really helping, Alucard?" The man always feared the end of his job was near if Sir Integra ever found him out.

"I don't know." Was the vampire's answer, "I don't care."

He did care. He cared so much. Too much. So the cook continued, out of fear. Integra was his employer. She meant little to him. But that vampire. She was the world to him. He would be damned if he stood in the way of it.

"You never smile anymore, Alucard." Integra sighed after a long day of bill-paying, "I remember when you used to do nothing but!"

"I'm sorry, Master." He offered a weak grin, which she shook her head at.

"Is there really so little to smile about?" She asked, "Is it so hard to smile around me now?" Every time he looked at her, he saw the shadow of death clung about her, and it struck the fear of God in him. How could he smile when death was so close? How could he joke? "Don't be this way Alucard. I have so little time left."

"Don't be ridiculous, Master." He smiled, then, the most cheshire cat-like grin he could muster, "Only the good die young." She chuckled at this, showing no signs of anger.

"I should live forever then, shouldn't I?"

He laughed at that. It was all he could do to keep from crying.


	12. Gone

**Gone**

/

She was gone. Buried six feet under, and hardly a soul at her funeral. She had died at 79, a sudden and violent heart attack caused her to die instantly. There was no saving her. There was no time to say goodbye. He should have known. He should have heard her heart straining. She had told him that night how sick she felt! She had told him, and he wrote it off. He was going to have her call for the doctor the next morning, but no. Too late.

Always too late.

He felt her leave. He was there as soon as he did. Seras followed shortly after. His master was in her bed, sprawled over it, died as she was getting dressed. There was no saving her.

Her funeral was short. So few had arrived for it. She, Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, perhaps the soul savior of England from the war that killed over three million in Britain alone, had died. And no one cared.

Penwood offered the vampires a place at his estate. "I will give you whatever I can." He stated. Seras accepted. Alucard did not.

He stood over her grave for a long time after that, ignoring the sun bearing down on him. Ignoring those who passed by and gawked. Ignoring life itself. He fancied he could hear her voice calling to him in the wind.

It was all in his head.

There was nothing here for him. Nothing but a grave and a headstone with her name.

He found himself traveling back to Hellsing. For what, he did not know. There was nothing there for him. Just his coffin. The estate was being cleaned out as he ventured in. Seras's coffin was being moved. She caught him as he climbed the stairs.

"Master!" She called out. He looked back and offered a weak smile.

"Seras." It was all he could say to her. Her name was all he could manage. It was the last he saw of her, standing there in the hall, bloody tears coating her cheeks. It was the last time he heard her call out to him. It was the last time.

He was in her office. No, not her office. It wasn't hers any longer. The memories he had of this office were far too many, and all rushed into him at once. He remembered how small she had been, sitting at that desk. How delicate she had seemed at first. How she grew into such a fine woman, a fine master.

The holes in the wall from where she shot him and they passed through. The burn mark on the floor when she accidentally set some papers on fire with the end of her cigar. He never let her forget that. The wall that he often leaned on to talk to her. The chairs they sat in while discussing politics and business.

"Alucard, you're such a prat." He could hear her saying to him when she was fourteen, "You'll never understand. You'll never understand me." He hated that memory. He hated remembering when she hated him.

He remembered the short skirts she wore when she tried provoking him. God he hated that too, but how he loved it. He loved remembering her. He loved her.

"My father told me to never trust the liked of vampires." She was so young then, so naïve, "I'll never trust you Alucard. Never in a million years!" She had sat at that very desk as she shouted that to him. He remembered laughing at her, relishing the fire the young girl possessed.

"Alucard, I'm an old granny now." There she was, older, wrinkles playing about the sides of her wry smile, "Don't you know it isn't polite to make fun of old bags like me?" He tried to smile, but instead bit his lip.

"Why do you care so much for my thoughts, vampire?" She was younger, just before the war, "Why do you pry?"

"Master's humble servant merely wants to chat."

He found he had said it aloud. Spoke the words he spoke so many years ago.

He couldn't stop the surge of emotion. He didn't want to stop it. He let out a strangled, choked sob and collapsed into the armchair. His armchair. She should be across from him now, ordering him to wipe away his tears and man up. She should be there now, smoking a cigar and drinking her tea. She should be there now running her company. She should be there now. She should be there. She should.

But she was dead.

She was gone.

He let out a cry. A piercing, inhuman wail. Damn this woman. Damn her and what she did to him. If only he had disregarded her wishes. If only he had been selfish. He wasn't supposed to feel this. He had no heart to feel, so why was this happening?

He couldn't take it anymore. The emptiness. The quiet. The lack of her.

She was not here. Above all, she was not here. With a sound that sounded more animal than human he leapt out of his chair, sure of what he would do.

He took one last look, one final goodbye, and blinked out of existence.

/

**A/N**: Well there we are, the very end. I sometimes forget that Alucard has schrodinger's abilities. I tend to think if he kills the one last being inside him, or simply refuses to recognize himself, then he either ceases to exist or perhaps merely exists in a state of matter. Like a passing thought. Or breath of air. Don't mind my end-of-story ramblings. If you stuck with it, thank you for reading!


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